yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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