If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize
