do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
