Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
