Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
