So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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