i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
