"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
