You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
