marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
