I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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