Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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