i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
