I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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