and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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