so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
my god I love twenty year old dicks
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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