shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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