party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
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IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
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I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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