How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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