We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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