guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
