I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
