she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
