You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You smell like stripper and shame
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
