we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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