I look better un-naked...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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