I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
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His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
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We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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