I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
