Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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