I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
