Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
