I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
honey bunches of taint.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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