Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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