We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
