I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
