Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize