I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
