I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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