Sacagawea was the original milf.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
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If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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