Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We're too hungover to prance.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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