I CAN MOONWALK!
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
