Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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