im drinking this country out of the recession.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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