My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just invented taco cereal.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
