Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
