Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
