i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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