I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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