dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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