ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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