I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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