i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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