I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
