Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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