I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I am naked and annoyed.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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