Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
