so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize