He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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