My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
