she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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