All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
