Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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