Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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