last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
