Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
